36 Comments

This hits home in so many ways. Thank you for saying it in ways that make it even more clear. Everytime I get on social media, I feel like shit. I've been getting better, but the pull is still there. It's bizarre, really. I get that I enjoy seeing beautiful images, like the ones you share here, but even then, you had to disrupt PURE PRESENCE to capture those images. It's a trade-off, to be sure. I'm less worried about myself, however, and way more worried about our three teens, one of which is in a less than desirable situation linked to social media usage. It's tentacles reach far and stay put in ways we don't/can't fully comprehend. It's scary. One of my primary goals is teaching college students how to be more present and in tune. Mindfulness/presence can be a "hard sell" but it's priceless. ✨️

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Thank you for this comment. I share your concern for the children. They were handed this digital world without the wisdom to set boundaries and the skills to navigate the mental health implications. I really do worry about them. I think it’s important to start speaking up about it. The shift away will take time & collectively effort, but I do have hope

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One of the most potent and inspiring things I was able to witness spending time with you was how much you NOTICED. A beautiful black person walking by, a cute lil local spot, a way to make something more easeful for yourself and those with you. It really is a way of being in the world I so admire about you. I honestly have to practice being on my phone for work and connection but this helps me appreciate the way it could be on and offline 💓

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Thank you for this beautiful reflection, friend. There’s definitely a weird tethering to the phone for business purposes.🥲 we gotta do what we gotta do, as long as we can find balance

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I deeply resonate with this letter. I've been struggling with the fact that social media apps don't align with how I want to spend my time, or how I want to connect with others in the world. I've been slowly shifting my behaviour by being less active on Instagram and adding time limits for its usage. Right now, I use it as a tool to find offline events to attend and restaurants to try, which has been really great for the time being.

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It makes sense to use it intentionally that way. We have to create healthy boundaries & know WHY we’re even on the apps in the first place

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I agree with so much that was said both in the article and the comments. This week I have permanently turned off ALL NOTIFICATIONS. Including email and text messages. No badges. No interruptions. I have deleted all social media apps off my phone. The ability to focus without distractions was immediate. The decrease in anxiety was also immediate. The feeling of being IN the world in my life and no IN my phone was instantaneous. And I wondered why I didn’t do this sooner.

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It feels like coming home, doesn’t it? Ao glad you gave yourself that space

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🎯💯 🖤 These days being someone who isn't on their phone/always available is seen as the abnormal one.

Also there seems to be no link to the "inspired, unplugged" event you mentioned?

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I know. Isnt that strange? Oh, thank you for letting me know. I put the link there!

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Sep 1Liked by Jamila Reddy

Awesome and much needed help in Accepting my own Addiction to my phone Thank you

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With you. I’m proud of us for naming it & exploring a healthier relationship to it 🫶🏾

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whew. I am still sitting in the subtitle. Gratitude.

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Thank you for reading 🤎

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Excellent! Thought-provoking read, thank you

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Thank you! So glad it sparked reflection ✨

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Aug 13Liked by Jamila Reddy

Thank you for your wise words, I miss heartfelt connections, rather than these insidious replacements for humanity. I’ve returned to listening audiobooks to inspire imagination. Our minds are too powerful to acquiesce to machines.

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I’m miss them too. Heartfelt connections are SO wonderful and so needed. And yes, our minds truly are powerful!

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Aug 13Liked by Jamila Reddy

I often take social media fast. I’m amazed after the detox period passes how much more I actually do, how much I am in the world again. I can often feel lonely because most of my friends connect only via text and social media. I miss the days of real phone calls! I had one friend that we talked every week. She was in Florida. She passed almost two years ago. How I miss those good phone calls. When I go back after my fast, it does not take long to get lost. I also believe lots of good stuff comes of it too. But, I use it as a distraction often to the real world that is flying so very quickly by our window as we have our heads in our phone.

Even my dog, when he jumps up on bed in mornings to greet me and if I pick my phone up, he literally hits his paw to knock it out. A dog! They even see, look at me, I am here, I am real, see me.

Great piece!

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What a beautiful reflection. I regularly FaceTime with my beloved friends who live far. It’s so nourishing to my heart. It feels so good to sit down with eachother and connect. Of course the REAL thing would be so much better, but those calls help me stay emotionally & energetically close to my friends. I get it. And wow!!!! Your Dog is a wise teacher.

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For Black August, I chose to do a social media detox. When I tell you the results for my body have been amazing (my sleep has improved; I'm actually eating; being more active) but also seeing others "locked in" has been sad. I completely understand your sentiment. We have normalized an unhealthy addiction to social media. After the first week of my detox, I was like, "how will i know what's going on with so-and-so?" I have to be waaaayy more intentional with my connection to people because following someone's life on SM is the norm. I may extend this longer than a month but it can be difficult especially with running a business (that sometimes depends on SM).

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Yes, I can definitely relate to that. I use social media as a marketing tool and it feels tricky to take space from it because that does have financial implications for me sometimes.😕😒

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I’m easing off the apps and spending more time over here where we get to share more long thoughts and parse things out. I always enjoyed your meditations on Shine and I am happy to find you here!

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Yes, it feels nice to be engaging in a space that isn’t full of Clickbait and capitalism 🥲🥲🥲

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This was wonderful to read! Thank you for making time to write this. It truly resonated with me especially as I have been known to hide my phone when I am with friends so that I can give them my full attention. Because connecting with someone deeply cannot be done in between reaching out for your phone.

Thanks for triggering me to reflect on why I reach for my phone……your list was fascinating.

🤍

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Yes! As much as possible I try to put my phone away when I am having time with family or friends. My most special moments & memories have been the ones where everyone is fully present.

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I deleted the instagram app from my phone a couple of days ago. My head feels way less cluttered and my energy has settled.

I’m slowly rebuilding the habit of plugging my energy back into my own life again.

I realise that I was wasting a lot of my creative energy on trying to stay relevant on there even though I don’t care about metrics and sub counts.

It’s so easy to blindly follow the crowd and wander from your own path - your creativity, values, passions etc.

Thank you for this ❤️

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Thank you for giving yourself the space from it.

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so good!

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Thank you so much for reading🤎

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Aug 5Liked by Jamila Reddy

I had similar awareness around a loss of control in my connection to social media content, and reading your email this morning brought even more clarity. The addiction and longing for connecting resonated. I am grateful for your wisdom on this today. ✨🖤

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Thank you so much for your comment. I think a lot of us are starting to notice that social media is becoming increasingly misaligned with our values and goals. We’re all still learning and figuring things out.

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Aug 5Liked by Jamila Reddy

I needed the gentleness and reminder that I am “learning and figuring things out.” The criticism and judgement was definitely trying to come for me. Thank you ✨🖤

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Thank you for reading and reflecting. That means the world to me.

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