5 Good Things

Centering my attention on what is good and right

I’m currently taking a social media break and I don’t miss it at all. It’s alarming how much time and attention goes towards the apps — how deeply I get lost in the endless feed of images, videos, bad news, hot takes and trends.

I’ve been thinking a lot about consumption versus creation, and how being addicted to social media serves the powers-that-be by disrupting our ability to focus inward, connect with each other, and — most importantly — create. The things that feed our Souls are being undermined by social media… and it ain’t no coincidence. God, I miss the way it used to be.

I have spent the last few weeks writing and writing and writing some more. I’ve deep cleaned and organized my home. I’ve been reading personal essays on Substack and having long talks with friends on FaceTime. I’m making my way through memorizing the Bad Bunny album. And, more than anything, I’ve been noticing so many good things.

When I’m giving too much attention and energy to the terrible things happening in the world beyond, I don’t notice as much of the good things happening right in front of me.

I am constantly trying to find the balance between being an engaged citizen of the world and not allowing my nervous system to be flooded by neverending bad news.

Since there is so much bad news circulating these days, I wanted to share some good things. Some glimmers, if you will. (A glimmer is the exact opposite of a trigger—it is some kind of cue, either internal or external that brings one back to a sense of joy or safety.)

Here are 5 Good Things:

1. My lover speaks my love language. She brings me plants because she knows me deeply. If she’s at the grocery store and sees a plant with bright vibrant leaves, or a unique pattern she thinks I’ll love, into the trunk it goes. I have at least 50 plants at home now; enough for every room. It is such a gift to be surrounded by growth and beauty. It is a daily lesson of how gorgeous things can get with attention and care.

   

2. I spend half the week in South Carolina, in a little house built by my partner’s grandpa’s brothers. Her family calls this neighborhood “the hill,” because you can see so much of the city from here. It’s like a little village — her cousins live across the street and right next door, and next to each cousin lives an auntie. Family members honk when they drive by. We regularly walk across the yard for a cup of rice or flour, medicine we ran out of, or to get a plate of whatever somebody just cooked. The house is right outside city lines, so we get our water from the well. It is the best water I have ever tasted. Having clean, fresh water is a privilege that is not lost on me. Having water that is free to access and rich with minerals and nutrients is an even greater blessing. (As a gesture of gratitude for this gift, I make a monthly donation to CharityWater, an organization whose mission is to bring clean water to everyone on the planet.)
   

3. My body still works after all these years. I can bend and squat and cross my legs to sit on the floor. I can jump, walk, dance, swim. I can carry my niece on my back; I can bring groceries in from the car. I can step in and out of the bathtub, unassisted. I can get myself up and down the stairs without fear. I can fill my lungs with air. I can see with both eyes. I have all my teeth. My heart is healthy. My hips get sore and tight sometimes but they work. Thank God, they work. I am grateful for every bone, joint, and ligament, every organ, muscle and tendon, every nerve and cell of this still-funcional body. I know it won’t always be this way and I know that it could have been very different, as it is for so many. I know I still have time to set myself up for success as I age. I want to be strong, flexible, and autonomous for as long as I can be. And it’s not too late.
   

4. My friends love me. A lot. I have many examples of this, but this one felt particularly sweet: My friend Rebby had groceries delivered to my door last week. I had come down with the flu (or some other such virus) and I’d had peanut butter toast for breakfast several days in a row. During a morning FaceTime call, they told me to order myself some things using their Instacart account so I could have a proper breakfast. I had told them earlier that our Keurig machine had broken, and how I wanted to back to making coffee old-school style, with a French press or pour-over — not at the mercy of fickle technology. When I opened the grocery bags, I saw that they had added one thing to my order: a coffee filter for pour-over coffees. It’s these small gestures that make me feel deeply seen, loved, and cared for. People want me to have my needs met. People want my desires — even the smallest ones, like a hot cup of coffee in the morning — to be fulfilled. This truth makes me glad to be alive.
   

5. I am working on a book, a project that has been growing inside of me for years. I started working on a proposal last year and a few weeks ago, just like magic, a literary agent reached out to me and asked me to send over some ideas. I am thrilled about this. I am writing about my journey with loss and grief, and how these experiences shaped me and made me even more determined to make the most of this one, precious life. It feels so good to be living inside of a dream I once had for myself. And I love writing! I have so much fun sitting down and making sense of my thoughts, finding the poetry, digging for the lessons and the connections between ideas and experiences. I feel so lucky to be able to do what I love.

These good things keep me going. They center me in the truth that even though so much is deeply wrong in the world right now, there is so much that feels in perfect alignment with the world I want to live in.

I’d love to hear some of your good news! What’s beautiful in your life right now? What’s going well? What made you smile in the last few days? How are you spending your time off the Internet? Let me know, and may the glimmers continue.

Be well,
Jamila