The life-changing magic of following through

Notes on doing what you said you were going to do:

I’m sitting in a quiet house — a quiet amplified by the absence of people in every room. I’ve just completed the first “inspired, unplugged” retreat, a weekend of creative people gathered to take space from their phones, rest, give their undivided attention to their work, and be in community with each other.

I am still processing all of it, but what I can say for now is that I want everyone to experience the feeling of living in an idea you imagined. I visualized people sitting around a table laughing, cozied up in the corner of a couch reading, writing in silence side-by-side. I pictured a table covered with flowers and candles and beautiful food. I saw it all in my mind, and then I got to experience it.

And that, to me, is one of the best feelings in the world.

the Pinterest vision board for “inspired, unplugged”

I love feeling proud of myself. I live for the feeling of self-admiration — of feeling good about how I am showing up in the world. I love feeling connected to my power as a Creator. When I bring my visions to life, I feel powerful. Not in the way of energetic bigness or having control — but in the way of being one with Life. Of being a small fraction of the creative energy that animates everything alive. 

I want everyone to feel this feeling. One of my love languages is wanting you to feel how good it feels. I feel so lucky to feel the way I feel most days, and my prayer is that everyone gets to experience the satisfaction of following through — the joy of doing what you said you were going to do. 

images from this weekend's "inspired, unplugged" retreat

 
One of the things I like most about myself is that my ideas don't stay ideas.

More often than not, if I get a strike of inspiration and feel called to take action to make something happen in my life, I answer the call. I'm able to do this mostly with ideas that fit into my Ikigai — what I love, what the world needs, what I’m good at, and what I can be paid for. 

Something that helps me do what I say I'm going to do is not overthinking the strategy.

I simply allow the vision to compel me and then I start somewhere, anywhere. My strategies usually involve making a brain dump of every single possible thing I can think of —  what are all the small steps I must take to get to my destination? After I've made this list, I pick one task and get to work.

(Note: I almost always underestimate the scope of work. Perhaps this is the delusion that serves the purpose of allowing me to feel like the vision is possible. Underestimating the scope of work allows me to not get overwhelmed before I even begin. Because once the ball is rolling, I'm not going to stop it.)

Another strategy I use to do what I say I'm going to do is to tell people I'm going to do it. Usually, the idea comes to me and then, in a rush of excitement, I map out a rough draft of the plan. Before I know every detail and every step, I take to the internet and make an announcement that IT’S HAPPENING.  I'm offering coaching! I'm teaching a class! I'm guiding weekly meditations! I'm hosting a digital detox retreat for creative people to restore and reconnect! Once I have declared publicly that I am doing something, it is very hard for me to go back on my word. 

I don't let uncertainty hold me back from beginning. I don't know how the road ahead will unfold, but I start on the journey anyway. 

A manifestation practice I do when I’m trying to call something in is “being in the feeling.” Being in the feeling means dropping into the emotional/mental/sensorial experience of something imagined or desired, and then getting as present as possible with the feeling of being in that experience in my mind. One of the most powerful things that I learned about manifestation is that we're not motivated by the external things we want — the car, the house, the relationship, the career - what we really want is the feeling we believe those things will bring us.

Craving the feeling is essential to my follow-through. This means that feeling my feelings is a prerequisite for bringing any vision to life. I allow myself to feel everything deeply. I say yes to feeling pleasure down to my bones. I stay open to being burst open by pain. Being willing to feel deeply — i.e. not blocking emotions through avoidance or suppression — allows me to stay connected to my most visceral desires. 

actual footage of me living my dreams

I learned to do what I said I was going to do by not doing it and feeling how misaligned it felt.

I couldn’t stand the regret. Years of procrastination and self-sabotage left me yearning for a different version of me. I grew weary of feeling the distance between where I wanted to be and where I was. Oh, and the wondering. The constant wondering how different life would be if I had kept going. If I hadn’t given up on the dream. If I had answered the call.

The feeling of a missed opportunity — of having less than what was available and less than what I wanted — is what informs my commitment to following through. 

Sometimes, though, it can get me into trouble. There have been many instances where I followed through simply because I said I would, even when I knew that doing so would cause me harm. When I say “harm” I mean actually causing me pain (mentally, emotionally), depleting me energetically, and holding me back from better-feeling, more aligned timelines.

This is the shadow side. There were so many times when I’d lost enthusiasm and no longer felt connected to the vision, but I kept going because my ego didn’t want me to be a quitter, or a failture. There were so many times I wish I would have stopped the train and chosen a new destination.

I had to learn that sometimes it’s okay to pivot. It’s okay to change my mind. When following through becomes pushing through, I have to pause and re-assess.

Pushing through requires that I abandon myself in the pursuit of completion, and I value myself too much to do that.

When I notice that I am pushing past my boundaries just to “get it done,” I have to check-in with myself and ask if I am staying true to the current version of myself. I want to live for who I am right now, not the past version of me. 

I laugh when I think of the life I thought I’d be living.

24-year-old me wanted to be throwing yacht parties for artists all over the world or growing vegetables in my garden in some remote area in South America. And while those admittedly still sound very fun and enjoyable, “yacht party-thrower” and “ex-patriot homesteader” wasn’t the divine timeline I was destined for right now.

My life changed, and so did my plans. Before my sister died, it was easy to imagine myself far from home and only returning for holidays, maybe summers. Now, I can’t imagine being away for more than ten days. Her children became my children, and they tether me to home. I don’t want to do what I said I was going to do when the original vision no longer aligns with what feels most important right now.

Our commitments should reflect our values.

When I decide I’ll take a course of action, it’s because that action allows me to embody and really live out what matters most to me. I say I’m going to work out because I value wellbeing — because it’s important to me to feel good in my body, to have energy and capacity to do everything I want to do, and to be here long enough to fullfil my mission. I say I’m going to host the retreat because I value presence, rest and creativity — because it’s important to me to curate experiences of pleasure and deep connection.

Knowing why I want to do something helps me stay committed. The why has to be compelling. I have to want the feeling badly enough to go after it. 

I have to want it so badly that I’m willing to fail or embarrass myself trying to get it. I have to be brave because there is risk involved. When the inner critic warns me that I’m headed towards getting it wrong, feeling regret, or making a fool of myself, I have to not give it too much stage time. 

“The more clearly you know the editor, the better you can ignore it. After a while, like the jabbering of an old drunk fool, it becomes just prattle in the background. Don't reinforce its power by listening to its empty words. If the voice says, "You are boring," and you listen to it and stop your hand from writing, that reinforces and give credence to your editor. That voice knows that the term boring will stop you dead in your tracks, so you'll hear yourself saying that a lot about your writing. Hear "You are boring" as distant white laundry flapping in the breeze. Eventually it will dry up and someone miles away will fold it and take it in. Meanwhile you will continue to write.” — Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones.

In conclusion, dear reader, I want you to think about what you said you were going to do, and recommit to doing it. Remember why you decided to do it, and get clear on the feelings you’ll feel when you do it. Make sure the current version of you aligns with the experience. Make sure it aligns with your current values. Your dreams and ideas chose you to bring them to life for a reason. The reason may not be clear now, but it will be come clear in the doing.

Give yourself a chance to feel how good it feels to be living a dream. Say yes to the dreamer.

Answer the call.  

Until next time,
-Jamila