Celebrating the birthday of someone who died

It doesn't have to be happy.

This week was my sister’s 37th birthday. Well, it would have been, if she were alive.

My sister died in 2018. This is the 7th birthday we’ve “celebrated” since she’s been gone. Birthdays after someone dies are … strange. The first few years, I couldn’t do much but weep and feel the harrowing reality of her absence. Then, things felt less devastating but still, far from happy.

This year, her birthday brought a mix of grief and gratitude. I’m still heartbroken that she’s no longer here with us, and still so grateful for the gift of her children and how her life (and death) transformed me to my core.